The Random Musings of a Marriage and Family Major Student

“I want to get a divorce,” I sob into my hands, “ I can’t do this anymore”.  Dexter is sitting beside me while our marriage counselor, Sylvia, waits quietly across from us, watching.  We are in a small office with a large window, cheery light flooding the room. With the aesthetically pleasing decor, an Essential Oil diffuser puffing  “Citrus Bliss” gently in the corner, and a variety of calming sensory objects, the room was a perfect picture of calm serenity. But today, all the sunshine and Japanese sand gardens in the world could not disperse the overwhelming despair engulfing me. Dexter doesn’t look shocked at my statement, just quiet, like a tolerant parent dealing with an uncooperative and belligerent child. “Let’s just go and talk about this at home” he says calmly.  But I know he’s just trying to get me alone to convince me to stay. He knows that he will be able to somehow persuade me like he has all the other times before. When we’re alone, he always wins. ...

Fathers and the roles they play are so important! Usually, when we think of father roles we think of the direct good and bad effects a father has on his son. And there are so many connections that a father and son have.  But I wanted to focus a little more on the effect fathers have specifically on their daughters ​Fathers help their daughters to be more self-reliant and assertive.  They can help to push their daughters in healthy ways to succeed. Studies have shown that girls who had a good relationship with their fathers were more likely to graduate from college.  Many female athletes also attribute their success to their father's encouragement to work hard and pursue their goals Also if a girl has a healthy close relationship with her father she is more likely to have much more healthy and fulfilling relationships with men that she dates. She is also less likely to turn to other men for emotional support in dysfunctional needy ways. One study also said that girls ar...

Fathers and the roles they play are so important! Usually, when we think of father roles we think of the direct good and bad effects a father has on his son. And there are so many connections that a father and son have.  But I wanted to focus a little more on the effect fathers have specifically on their daughters ​Fathers help their daughters to be more self-reliant and assertive.  They can help to push their daughters in healthy ways to succeed. Studies have shown that girls who had a good relationship with their fathers were more likely to graduate from college.  Many female athletes also attribute their success to their father's encouragement to work hard and pursue their goals Also if a girl has a healthy close relationship with her father she is more likely to have much more healthy and fulfilling relationships with men that she dates. She is also less likely to turn to other men for emotional support in dysfunctional needy ways. One study also said that girls ar...

We have so many love songs, they talk about passion, sex, devotion, attraction, all the hot and spicy stuff.  I really want to hear a song about communication in relationships.  We have wounded love songs, telling us that it’s just a major thing that ruined a relationship.  Most of it is cheating or just being a “Jerk”.  But there are many more things than just those broad cliche problems that hurt and erode a relationship.  Our world is so focused on physical attraction with a large helping of fiery passion.  But those are not a secure foundation to base your relationship on, and certainly aren’t grounds for marriage.   Years ago I came to the realization that all feelings are valid.  The reason for someone feeling something may not be real, but the fact that they are feeling them makes it real for that person.  There's a quote that says, “Fish swim, people feel”.  I think we need to acknowledge and respect the feelings people ha...

Bad things happen, they have and they will continue to.  But I don’t think that statement is depressing or negative.  And saying that bad things don’t happen and life will be perfect and go how you want it to, is unrealistic and isn’t positive or helpful.  What is positive, happy, and a reason to hope is the statement that bad things have and will continue to happen, but you can still have joy and from those trials, you will be made stronger and ultimately happier in the end.  I once heard from a motivational speaker that, “Nothing bad or good happens”.   Meaning that no event is inherently bad or good, it’s all up to us and how we perceive it.  We know because of the Gospel that everything that happens will be, “For our good”.  So when something really crummy happens, stop yourself from labeling it as “bad”.  Try to have a positive attitude and see what the experience eventually leads to.  Of course, when traumatic things happen I don’...

No one else can answer that for you. But, I can tell how I answered it for myself First off, why is divorce frowned upon in the church? Many of the prophets have touched on this topic.  They lament the frequency that it’s occurring these days and the many lives it’s hurt. They are saddened by the lack of understanding of the sanctity of marriage and the upheaval divorce causes in families.  And they understand that the biggest impact is felt by the children caught in the divorce. Elder David B. Haight says, “Perhaps most tragic of all is that more than 60 percent of all divorces involve children under eighteen years of age. Children of divorce all too often have a higher delinquency rate and less self-confidence, and tend to be more promiscuous and themselves more likely to have unhappy marriages.” Basically, family and marriage are special, they’re meant for eternity and often times divorce works directly against that.  Elder Oaks makes a valid point, “I ...

Hello world! My name is Kira Jensen, and I'm a blogger. Well, I guess I am now...  It's funny that for years I've wanted to start a blog, but it wasn't until I had to for a college class.  It's not the journey that counts it's the destination right?.. or something. (Sorry Elder Utchdorf) I'm a 25 year old LDS divorced woman, and this blog is exactly what the title suggests: A collection of random musings of me( a marriage and family therapist major).  Ok ok, technically they aren't random, I do intend to discuss the awesome things I'm learning in my class that are helping me on my path to help people and share my experiences with those who have or who are going through some things that I've experienced...but, you see, I'm a random person.  Hence, my title of choice. Did you know that in Switzerland it is illegal to own just one guinea pig....Hmm they have good chocolate. Ahem, anywho.. What has my life been up until this...